CruftBucket

I wanted Winky for my car, to keep me safe with his soft fluffiness and his acrylon-like fur. But I was young and foolish, worried about image. What would my friends think? Could I blast Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables on the cassette and still sport Winky in the back window, all the while keeping some semblance of coolness? Sadly, a victim of teenage peer pressure, I couldn’t bring myself to buy Winky. A few years later, JC Whitney stopped carrying him. Winky was no more.
Now, 25 years later, I realize that all is not lost. Yeah, I can’t buy Winky (not a real one, anyway), but I can make my own!
Read more at jalopnik »

In order to restore confidence and credibility to instant message communication, and to the Internet in general, I am proposing a new acronym to use in place of LOL to indicate both amusement and a plausible level of physical response. This new acronym is “BNS” or “brief nasal snort.” Please use BNS instead of LOL, unless you actually laugh out loud. Call out your instant message buddies when they give you an LOL and find out if they are in fact laughing out loud or not; if they are not, please educate them on the new nomenclature.
Read more at Geekfoolery »

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, “Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?” The blind lady replied, “No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs.”
Read more at the other stuff »

A young lady got into a terrible car accident. Her face was burned terribly. The doctors couldn’t use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery. As a result, her husband offered the skin off his butt for the surgery. She had the surgery and was as beautiful after as she was before the surgery.

One night she and her husband were watching TV when she broke down crying. "What’s the matter?" her husband asked.

She said "I can’t believe you did this for me."

Her husband hugged her and replied, "Don’t worry about it, I love you, and I’d do anything for you."

But how will I ever repay you?" she asked.

With which he replied, "You don’t need to repay me, you wouldn’t believe the satisfaction I get every time I see your mom kiss you on the cheek."
Found at stayfunny.com »

What you’re about to read is the 100% truth. It happened in April of 2006, but the reason I haven’t spoken about it until now is because I have been on non-reporting probation for half a year, and I wanted that to expire before I told the story to the public. I want to make very clear, though, that under no circumstances should you attempt what you’re about to read. It could potentially get you in some major trouble. I just got lucky. That being said, here’s how I went to jail for the sake of comedy.
Read more at pointlesswasteoftime.com »

SUE Rogers will never be without her dead dogs and cat after having a diamond ring made from their ashes.

Rogers, from Devon in southwest England, paid 3,200 pounds ($8,000) for the ring made from carbon extracted from the ashes of Lucky, an old English sheepdog, a golden retriever cross called Sam and a tom cat, Patch.
Read more at WWWeird »

Little Johnny ’s next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.

When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny’s family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny’s parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little Johnny before going to the neighbors.
Read more at ROFLs »

An Amsterdam judge has ruled that peep shows — where sex workers performing strip shows and explicit acts can be watched from booths — are a form of theater and club owners are therefore entitled to a hefty tax break.
Read more at cnn »

Well we all new it was only going to be a matter of time but I personally thought it would take a little longer….The processing key used in encrypting ‘HD-DVD’ and ‘Blueray’ movies has been cracked.

Read more at engadget »

Now to find the spare 20gb per disc bandwidth to download those suckers.

As you are well aware, 3 men claim that they are the father of Anna Nicole’s baby. But the media have deliberately left one name out, because if the public knew, it would rock them to the core.
Read more at Random Brainwave »

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
Read more at The Manbottle Library »

In 1950 (before helicopters had a long enough range), CIA inventor Robert Edison Fulton, Jr. devised a method to "extract" a person from the surface using an airborne plane…
Read more at neatorama »

"Dr. Charles Roselli set out to discover what makes some sheep gay," John Schwartz writes for the Times. "Then the news media and the blogosphere got hold of the story."
Read more at therawstory »